Now I know.
How difficult it really is to face the reality.
How a job will change the perception of others’ about you.
How ridiculous it is and look like, when having no self-control.
How uncomfortable it feels to have someone you don’t love to be protective over you.
How every single moment now will become memory later, despite it being precious or not.
How the cycle goes on and on in life and you grow old and outta place eventually, whether you like it or not.
How being friendly to everyone will lead you to become a trash bag for everyone’s problems.
How inevitable changes are but it always end well, with patience.
How important it is to just have some alone-time for yourself.
How vulnerable our lives is.
How feelings change.
So this is how it feels.
I appreciate the love I get now and I thank God for everything.
There is NEVER right or wrong. It’s just a perception. For this, we shall never have any regrets in life. For me, I’ve tried all I could for the things and people I loveD. So far, tears and fears gave me unbelievable strength and confidence now. I kept getting the “aura” thingy comments these days, about myself. I used to say that about others. Amazingly, I seem to have it myself now. You can have nothing but still be proud of yourself. You can have everything but still feel empty inside out. You can hang on to a past that has forsaken you and be miserable. Or you can forsake a present that has many doors opened for you and still be miserable. What I say? Be as miserable as you can, do as many ridiculous things as you can manage, be downright miserable. Because that’s when things will turn for the better. That’s when you learn to appreciate beautiful things and people who loves you. 
Thank you, God.
